Fanny FTW

a promotional post for the great Fanny Middleton

"My bubble butt shall ride beneath me, never mopey, never pining, buoyant throughout, a testament to the rotundity of all things." —Fanny

Born into an unforgiving world of stretch jeans and spandex, Fanny Middleton has come into no little renown through her terse use of verse (that really could be worse) in which she describes with staggering detail how she has overcome incredible odds and grown a bubble butt Bigger than Ever Before. Find out more at The End.

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Fanny in the press:

"A literal giant!" –The Who Knews

"Have you seen the size of that ass!" –The Partly Post

"Personally, who cares!" –Existential Today

"The biggest, boldest ones” –They Call

Critics agree– “Best buns of all"

"An incredible tour de force" –The Boston Globes

"From a promising beginning; a final triumph" –Bunsdotcom

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In her own words:

“Not buns of Steele

Nor Lead nor Gold

My buns: the ones

That broke the mold”

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The Planet

by F. Middleton

My butt is big

Like nothing else

It is a world

Unto itself

My Butt is huge

It's so durned big

It's like a truck

The biggest rig

Now I don't mean to gripe and grouse

But my butt’s bigger than yer house

So don't invite me to come in it

I can't fit and that I'll swear

(You're having pizza? Well... okay,)

I'll pop my head in for a minute

And leave my butt outside to air

I'll leave it there while we eat dinner

(I'd bring it in if it were thinner)

But even though your door is wide

There's no way it will fit inside

I'd try but I would likely jam it

Because, you see–

My butt’s a Planet

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