Hi Anna, Is it weird that I read this essay twice with my heart beating a little too fast, feeling a little too excited and eager?
I didn’t expect to read a story like this on Substack, I didn’t expect to see the name “NOFX here, I didn’t expect to see a heartbreakingly sweet video of a dad and son playing along with “Stickin’ in my Eye.” Your writing took me back through my own memories in a visceral way.
NOFX opened for my husband’s band in the mid-eighties. We thought they were just a bunch of funny little kids. (We considered ourselves grown-up punks then) That was all, until we heard them on a Ft. Lauderdale high school radio station in the early nineties.
If I was going to make a video of my life with my husband and daughter, the years from the 90’s on could realistically have an all-NOFX soundtrack. Not that it’s in any way all we listened to, it’s just that the songs are tied in with some of my most evocative memories.
My husband was one of two or three punks in our whole college when we met in 1979. He managed to start a band even though he’d only been playing bass for a few weeks. He’s still in a punk band now, 45 years later.
Anna I love this story so so much. I love this view into your past, and into your life with your husband. The thought of the two of you listening to hardcore on the way to the school makes me smile.
It’s a total cliche to say this, but punk has kept me young. And even more so for my husband. Not young in a trying-too-hard-to-keep-up-with-the-kids-way, but in the way that certain music can connect us with our more free, more idealistic, more carefree selves. The self that knows it’s never too late to be who we really are.
Thank you for writing this. It was a great read, and allowed me to connect to some of my own meaningful memories. It’s what the best memoir does.
Hi Tina, thanks so much for your comment! I occasionally come across Substacks from punks or train-hoppers or people who I have things in common with besides writing and it's always such a thrill. A couple of other people wrote me about NOFX which was unexpected and great. I love the story about your husband in college and his band. And I love that he's still playing! And I LOVE what you say about punk keeping you young. Not too sound too cliche myself but I never feel more alive than when I'm listening to it. And seriously, why should being older take that response away from us? Thanks again Tina
My musical tastes were formed by the rock of the 1970s and have remained there for a half century. I'm not motivated to invest the time to break out. But it's fun to read about a topic you're passionate about, and what's important is that James shares your passion.
What does musical rebellion look like for a child of die-hard punk fans?
My musical tastes were also formed by 70's rock and remain there. (Because so much awesomeness happened then!) Punk is just one offshoot. I've been having fun reading about music that I'm not particularly interested in too, even if my tastes are stubbornly ingrained... Unfortunately my child's only recourse for rebellion is Raffi.
I have been a NOFX fan since I was a teenager, round about the same time that White Trash came out. My 18 year old came with me to the second to last UK NOFX gig last summer. We had a great time, but I think he enjoyed Ska/Punk and Less Than Jake more. I told him about Op Ivy, but the truth is I never really liked them, but loved Rancid. I love your husband rocking to Sticking In My eye, it's exactly what I do! Loved this essay.
I predate punk and know nothing about it except sometimes I think I hear it and like it and don't realize it's punk. James in the backyard had me head-banging along with him. So, I guess I like it!
And oh...jeez...the part about the roommate who made up phony personas...hit hard. Brought back bad stuff that I'm embarrassed to remember. I could write true tales that sound fictional based on real relationships with creeps like that. Thanks Anna, great reading. You gonna try voiceovers?
Thank you. I tried a voiceover once and it sounded like I was going to cry the whole time! And it was a funny essay. So maybe not. I'm sorry about the creeps and I hear you... a lot of my best stories simply don't sound true. I write them and my husband says, "But no one will believe it" ...lame!
great read abd videos! not sure why fascination withe Fred Story except maybe the guy flashes to mind briefly john frusciante and theres where i go down the music rabbithole....😉😵💫
Love this post, like a little roadtrip through different kinds of integrity... musical, and personal, and the tragedy along the way. I so feel that worry with my kids, too, having known folks like Bomber.
I really like where the essay arrives, at the end. That backyard video makes me so happy. The moment where he leans in, and locks into the song, and then... it's on. So much joy.
Really enjoyed this, Anna. Funny, I remember as a teenage punk in the UK in the late 70s, ranting about selling out, but all that wave of punk bands that I loved: the Pistols, The Clash, Buzzcocks, the Slits, etc, were all on major labels and - apart from the Slits - were all chart bands, in the UK at least. There was a lot of snobbery about what was punk and what wasn't. A lot of it was teenage stuff about what was cool, in retrospect.
I was very lucky to be growing up in London when so much great music was exploding all around. Though that means I'm in my sixties now, which isn't quite as cool. Punk changed my life though. And gave us a generation or two of gobby non-conformists to enjoy.
I really enjoyed this, thank you. I was an English teen of the ‘80s obsessed with American music, much to my cool friends’ bemusement. Brooce! This despite my mum being also cool and buying me the first Specials album when I was 9…
I remember the scrounging pizza method. I hope it was not Blondie’s Pizza. The reason it was so cheap was they used the most rancid mozzarella, or that was the theory.
But you are correct—-I do not know NOFX. They sound pretty good.
Let me interrupt your story to tell my story: I went to a club in college with a friend. I can’t even remember his name anymore.
He decided to fake an accent and he was not, to put it mildly, an impressionist. We met three British Airways stewardesses in the club. It was called Area. This was 95 years ago so they were still called stewardesses.
But he definitely was not English. In the club the music was very, very loud and it was hard to pick up a terrible English accent. This was a good thing because we got far enough to get them to agreed to leave with us. We went to a diner somewhere and they figured out, had long figured out, that he was lying his ass off.
It was the highlight of the layover I’m pretty sure.
I’ll hand it to him: he stuck to his guns. I’ll hand it to them: I never thought I’d enjoy attending a crucifixion. They tormented him: made him say words, tell them about his home town. He would not surrender. All of this was a personal issue, because he was becoming a distraction to my own goals and objectives.
You made me remember that. And I now remember his name.
His name was James Melhuish Marks III.
Possibly that was his name.
(Whoops! I almost forgot the best part! I loved this post.)
You have the best stories! I loved this, Anna! I don’t know NOFX, sounds like you’d have to pogo, right?! I don’t know😂 Did I tell you my Killing Joke story? Do you know them? How about The Young Gods, who opened for U2 a few times a million and three years ago? I have an underwear story about Killing Joke and a car story (and way way more about the Gods!). And and and! Oh how cool were we?! Loved this my darling!
Thanks Adam. That is the funniest story. I can almost picture your frustration vs amusement at the situation. It would make a great skit. Prick would've approved.
Thanks David. Northern Soul FTW. Also per the heart attack advice: my dad is about as stress-free as they come. (He's 89 with a long history of cardiovascular disease, and Parkinson's.) But I will happily take your advice and apply it to myself! Please tell me about some UK punk bands you saw in the 70's!
Hi Anna, Is it weird that I read this essay twice with my heart beating a little too fast, feeling a little too excited and eager?
I didn’t expect to read a story like this on Substack, I didn’t expect to see the name “NOFX here, I didn’t expect to see a heartbreakingly sweet video of a dad and son playing along with “Stickin’ in my Eye.” Your writing took me back through my own memories in a visceral way.
NOFX opened for my husband’s band in the mid-eighties. We thought they were just a bunch of funny little kids. (We considered ourselves grown-up punks then) That was all, until we heard them on a Ft. Lauderdale high school radio station in the early nineties.
If I was going to make a video of my life with my husband and daughter, the years from the 90’s on could realistically have an all-NOFX soundtrack. Not that it’s in any way all we listened to, it’s just that the songs are tied in with some of my most evocative memories.
My husband was one of two or three punks in our whole college when we met in 1979. He managed to start a band even though he’d only been playing bass for a few weeks. He’s still in a punk band now, 45 years later.
Anna I love this story so so much. I love this view into your past, and into your life with your husband. The thought of the two of you listening to hardcore on the way to the school makes me smile.
It’s a total cliche to say this, but punk has kept me young. And even more so for my husband. Not young in a trying-too-hard-to-keep-up-with-the-kids-way, but in the way that certain music can connect us with our more free, more idealistic, more carefree selves. The self that knows it’s never too late to be who we really are.
Thank you for writing this. It was a great read, and allowed me to connect to some of my own meaningful memories. It’s what the best memoir does.
Hi Tina, thanks so much for your comment! I occasionally come across Substacks from punks or train-hoppers or people who I have things in common with besides writing and it's always such a thrill. A couple of other people wrote me about NOFX which was unexpected and great. I love the story about your husband in college and his band. And I love that he's still playing! And I LOVE what you say about punk keeping you young. Not too sound too cliche myself but I never feel more alive than when I'm listening to it. And seriously, why should being older take that response away from us? Thanks again Tina
My musical tastes were formed by the rock of the 1970s and have remained there for a half century. I'm not motivated to invest the time to break out. But it's fun to read about a topic you're passionate about, and what's important is that James shares your passion.
What does musical rebellion look like for a child of die-hard punk fans?
Great video of James.
My musical tastes were also formed by 70's rock and remain there. (Because so much awesomeness happened then!) Punk is just one offshoot. I've been having fun reading about music that I'm not particularly interested in too, even if my tastes are stubbornly ingrained... Unfortunately my child's only recourse for rebellion is Raffi.
"eeples and beneenis" are stuck forever in my brain.
I have been a NOFX fan since I was a teenager, round about the same time that White Trash came out. My 18 year old came with me to the second to last UK NOFX gig last summer. We had a great time, but I think he enjoyed Ska/Punk and Less Than Jake more. I told him about Op Ivy, but the truth is I never really liked them, but loved Rancid. I love your husband rocking to Sticking In My eye, it's exactly what I do! Loved this essay.
Thanks! My husband and I have been arguing about Op Ivy vs Rancid ever since I posted this.
I’m not sure why I stumbled in here but I really enjoyed this
I predate punk and know nothing about it except sometimes I think I hear it and like it and don't realize it's punk. James in the backyard had me head-banging along with him. So, I guess I like it!
And oh...jeez...the part about the roommate who made up phony personas...hit hard. Brought back bad stuff that I'm embarrassed to remember. I could write true tales that sound fictional based on real relationships with creeps like that. Thanks Anna, great reading. You gonna try voiceovers?
Thank you. I tried a voiceover once and it sounded like I was going to cry the whole time! And it was a funny essay. So maybe not. I'm sorry about the creeps and I hear you... a lot of my best stories simply don't sound true. I write them and my husband says, "But no one will believe it" ...lame!
great read abd videos! not sure why fascination withe Fred Story except maybe the guy flashes to mind briefly john frusciante and theres where i go down the music rabbithole....😉😵💫
Fred Smith was the guitarist in Beefeater, he became schizophrenic and homeless and was tragically murdered, hence the title "Fred's Song"--an homage
well that changes things
I know, sorry to be a downer, but that's the story
actually refreshing
fiercely felt honesty
and i am of same instinct when ignorance of the larger picture regarding something of deep meaning resonance to me
is ttampled on
like a flowerbed
im 67 and seen alot of sorrowful unravellings and not a few were musicians
and beloved
I wanted to include that info in the essay but it didn't really
fit so...
Oh shit an RKL ref! I'm friends with one of them cats, Joe. I love these stories.
Crazy!! Thanks! Are you SoCal?
Nope, Bay Area. I wish I were closer so I could be there for your reading!
Aw, shucks
Love this post, like a little roadtrip through different kinds of integrity... musical, and personal, and the tragedy along the way. I so feel that worry with my kids, too, having known folks like Bomber.
I really like where the essay arrives, at the end. That backyard video makes me so happy. The moment where he leans in, and locks into the song, and then... it's on. So much joy.
Thank you Rob. (That video makes me so happy.)
Really enjoyed this, Anna. Funny, I remember as a teenage punk in the UK in the late 70s, ranting about selling out, but all that wave of punk bands that I loved: the Pistols, The Clash, Buzzcocks, the Slits, etc, were all on major labels and - apart from the Slits - were all chart bands, in the UK at least. There was a lot of snobbery about what was punk and what wasn't. A lot of it was teenage stuff about what was cool, in retrospect.
You had me with "I remember as a teenage punk in the UK in the late 70s" ...so jealous!
I was very lucky to be growing up in London when so much great music was exploding all around. Though that means I'm in my sixties now, which isn't quite as cool. Punk changed my life though. And gave us a generation or two of gobby non-conformists to enjoy.
A great story Anna, love the middle age dad video, so funny, kinda reminds me of my another Rick the prick!
Thank you Susie!
I really enjoyed this, thank you. I was an English teen of the ‘80s obsessed with American music, much to my cool friends’ bemusement. Brooce! This despite my mum being also cool and buying me the first Specials album when I was 9…
Cool mom! Glad you liked it, thank you.
Ha ha! Love this story.
I remember the scrounging pizza method. I hope it was not Blondie’s Pizza. The reason it was so cheap was they used the most rancid mozzarella, or that was the theory.
But you are correct—-I do not know NOFX. They sound pretty good.
Thanks! I don't remember the name of the Pizza place...
Rick the prick, I wonder what’s his schtick these days?
Let me interrupt your story to tell my story: I went to a club in college with a friend. I can’t even remember his name anymore.
He decided to fake an accent and he was not, to put it mildly, an impressionist. We met three British Airways stewardesses in the club. It was called Area. This was 95 years ago so they were still called stewardesses.
But he definitely was not English. In the club the music was very, very loud and it was hard to pick up a terrible English accent. This was a good thing because we got far enough to get them to agreed to leave with us. We went to a diner somewhere and they figured out, had long figured out, that he was lying his ass off.
It was the highlight of the layover I’m pretty sure.
I’ll hand it to him: he stuck to his guns. I’ll hand it to them: I never thought I’d enjoy attending a crucifixion. They tormented him: made him say words, tell them about his home town. He would not surrender. All of this was a personal issue, because he was becoming a distraction to my own goals and objectives.
You made me remember that. And I now remember his name.
His name was James Melhuish Marks III.
Possibly that was his name.
(Whoops! I almost forgot the best part! I loved this post.)
You have the best stories! I loved this, Anna! I don’t know NOFX, sounds like you’d have to pogo, right?! I don’t know😂 Did I tell you my Killing Joke story? Do you know them? How about The Young Gods, who opened for U2 a few times a million and three years ago? I have an underwear story about Killing Joke and a car story (and way way more about the Gods!). And and and! Oh how cool were we?! Loved this my darling!
Thanks Francesca! An underwear story?? Must tell.
Absolutamente!
Thanks Adam. That is the funniest story. I can almost picture your frustration vs amusement at the situation. It would make a great skit. Prick would've approved.
your husband is adorable.
He is! Picturing him as punk Grampy in the future.
Thank you! Agree.
Thanks David. Northern Soul FTW. Also per the heart attack advice: my dad is about as stress-free as they come. (He's 89 with a long history of cardiovascular disease, and Parkinson's.) But I will happily take your advice and apply it to myself! Please tell me about some UK punk bands you saw in the 70's!