Great piece, my friend! I so agree about the distance piece. There are certainly some subject matters I can write well (in ways I’ll continue to feel good about) while still close to them. But much of it (life turned memoir) is better wrought from a distance for me.
I too share the autoimmune “fun.” Thank you for sharing. Lots of 💙 your way.
It was great knowing more about you! I’m looking forward to reading the pieces of your memoir you’ve published here. Maybe this summer I can find a little more time and dig into it. Glad you’re staying strong!
I really appreciate your writing, and find this post particularly inspiring. It's so good to be mindful of input, and the effect it has on us. I stopped with the news a while back—or whatever the news has become. I'm gravitating now to stories—true stories. I love that feeling of recognition, feeling yes, that's exactly how it is, or even better—I hadn't thought of it that way.
I love that both husbands are collaborating with you on your memoir. What an amazing, beautiful thing. It's funny, I tried to write some memoir when I was younger, but it was full of victims and villains. Now that I'm older, I see everyone as a collaborator, and I'd much rather try to find more love, humor, and connection in stories, because there's already enough of the opposites of those things in the world.
So this piece, and your writing in general, really inspires me toward that. Also, I'm super envious that you have avocados growing near you. Fresh avocados and the Pacific make me miss California.
You are welcome. Sending positive vibes your way for your health issues and... By the way... I'd blame you for getting me started on the memoir Journey-still haven't decided whether it is a blessing or a curse but I think you know what I mean :)
I took some time out this morning to sit and read this piece. I am suitably impressed, I shall now be watching your future efforts with considerable in the future. Best wishes. Like yourself, I suffer from health problems, and I appreciate how much of a ‘bummer’ it can be sometimes.(I used that phrase in deference to your initial poetry efforts, lol! )
A lot to unpack in this one! But just on one small part — “My parents instilled a pretty strong philosophy in me that life is mostly about feeling pleasure, or should be, if you can possibly make it be.” That's a complicated thing —maybe too complicated to discuss in comments to an essay — but do you ever find yourself re-examining that? Not that pleasure is a good thing! But that it's what life is mostly about —? (Edited to add, I don't imply to say that you SHOULD be re-examining it, or anything of the sort! More as an interesting question…I think that it's something that comes up if one was in California in certain eras.)
Yeah I wrote that pretty hastily and without much reflection. I don't mean they intentionally preached it as a philosophy, exactly.. "life is really hard so make hay while the sun shines" might be a little more accurate. Anyhow it's something I try to remind myself to do, rather than be consumed by constant worry.
Thank you for writing this beautiful piece. There are so many brilliant lines that rang true to me, and I kept nodding along in recognition. Yes, I stopped watching the news too. I think that self preservation and survival instincts kick in for people when something is just too much to handle. The main reason I started reading substack was to avoid the news (I’m an anxious person.) I wanted to stop staring at the news on my phone in abject horror, and I didn’t want to be that person who’s screaming incoherently at my phone screen like I’ve lost it. I’m sorry about your thyroid condition (if not even the orange batshit deserves that level of pain, then that kind of physical suffering sounds excruciating.) I have chronic illnesses too, and it’s hard to describe what life feels like with illness. I like how you wrote about this topic with such grace and clarity. Excellent point about the nature of trauma and the creative process. How to write about it in a way that’s not exploitive, and how keep it safe at the same time? I love the way your stories include both a sense of darkness in real life as well as a super sharp sense of humor and lightness. That’s the best kind of writing in my book.
Thank you for sharing, it's so nice to know others can relate. Sometimes my illnesses can be triggered by stress so it's definitely a survival instinct to try and control my stress level as much as possible. I remember I went to a psychiatrist once and said something like "I don't know what to do, reading the news gives me so much anxiety, it's totally disrupting my life!" And she said "well, stop reading the news!" She didn't add "duh" but it was implied. Sometimes Substack feels like the only "safe" place on the internet. Sorry to hear you have chronic stuff too, it can feel lonely and stigmatizing. Thanks so much, Jessica!
I don’t know why I’m sharing this bc it feels weirdly… I don’t know, romantic, but I just had this phrase pop into my head: “you’re a little treat.” You know when people say—“I deserve a little treat?” Well I think I do! And I think it was this piece!
Thanks Isabel, I'll take it. My kid is constantly describing things as romantic or not very romantic. "I know this isn't very romantic, Mama, but I just farted!"
You have a singular voice, and I’m glad I found your work!
Great piece, my friend! I so agree about the distance piece. There are certainly some subject matters I can write well (in ways I’ll continue to feel good about) while still close to them. But much of it (life turned memoir) is better wrought from a distance for me.
I too share the autoimmune “fun.” Thank you for sharing. Lots of 💙 your way.
Thank you Holly! Right back to you.
It was great knowing more about you! I’m looking forward to reading the pieces of your memoir you’ve published here. Maybe this summer I can find a little more time and dig into it. Glad you’re staying strong!
Thanks, Andrei!
Reading this gave me a burst of pleasure. 😊 Thanks!
That's so great, thank you
Delightful! Thank you!
Beautiful opening here
Thanks!
Hi Anna, I wanted to tell you that I read this and liked it. A big hug.
Thanks Ana!
I really appreciate your writing, and find this post particularly inspiring. It's so good to be mindful of input, and the effect it has on us. I stopped with the news a while back—or whatever the news has become. I'm gravitating now to stories—true stories. I love that feeling of recognition, feeling yes, that's exactly how it is, or even better—I hadn't thought of it that way.
I love that both husbands are collaborating with you on your memoir. What an amazing, beautiful thing. It's funny, I tried to write some memoir when I was younger, but it was full of victims and villains. Now that I'm older, I see everyone as a collaborator, and I'd much rather try to find more love, humor, and connection in stories, because there's already enough of the opposites of those things in the world.
So this piece, and your writing in general, really inspires me toward that. Also, I'm super envious that you have avocados growing near you. Fresh avocados and the Pacific make me miss California.
Thanks Rob. "I tried to write some memoir when I was younger, but it was full of victims and villains." ...pretty much says it all.
I really appreciate what you have done here, Anna, for a number of reasons, but for these three most of all:
1- Your strength to be true to yourself and your courage to do so in public.
2-Your no bullshit, Devil May care, what you see is what you get, brutal honesty.
3- Your general vibe of humility, with a splash of self-deprecation and a pinch of humor, never disappoints.
Okay, I lied, there's actually a fourth one- you are a really fucking talented storyteller, and I envy that a little ... OK, a lot :)
Thanks very much David! I love a good list.
You are welcome. Sending positive vibes your way for your health issues and... By the way... I'd blame you for getting me started on the memoir Journey-still haven't decided whether it is a blessing or a curse but I think you know what I mean :)
Seriously. I think about giving up on it constantly. We will see!
I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s 6-7 years ago. Probably been dealing with it even longer. So I’m on Team Fancy Thyroid too.
Good times!
GREAT times
“But I do wonder how many other writers…. or feeling less-than, or some kind of incapacitation, without ever letting on.”
I think they are numerous Anna… me included!
Thanks for sharing these very relevant words with us… I feel every one!
You explain a lot very well and very fast.
I took some time out this morning to sit and read this piece. I am suitably impressed, I shall now be watching your future efforts with considerable in the future. Best wishes. Like yourself, I suffer from health problems, and I appreciate how much of a ‘bummer’ it can be sometimes.(I used that phrase in deference to your initial poetry efforts, lol! )
Thank you! Best wishes health-wise
A lot to unpack in this one! But just on one small part — “My parents instilled a pretty strong philosophy in me that life is mostly about feeling pleasure, or should be, if you can possibly make it be.” That's a complicated thing —maybe too complicated to discuss in comments to an essay — but do you ever find yourself re-examining that? Not that pleasure is a good thing! But that it's what life is mostly about —? (Edited to add, I don't imply to say that you SHOULD be re-examining it, or anything of the sort! More as an interesting question…I think that it's something that comes up if one was in California in certain eras.)
Yeah I wrote that pretty hastily and without much reflection. I don't mean they intentionally preached it as a philosophy, exactly.. "life is really hard so make hay while the sun shines" might be a little more accurate. Anyhow it's something I try to remind myself to do, rather than be consumed by constant worry.
They WERE hippies in CA in the sixties though...
Ah, that makes so much sense! Yes, it's lovely.
Thank you for writing this beautiful piece. There are so many brilliant lines that rang true to me, and I kept nodding along in recognition. Yes, I stopped watching the news too. I think that self preservation and survival instincts kick in for people when something is just too much to handle. The main reason I started reading substack was to avoid the news (I’m an anxious person.) I wanted to stop staring at the news on my phone in abject horror, and I didn’t want to be that person who’s screaming incoherently at my phone screen like I’ve lost it. I’m sorry about your thyroid condition (if not even the orange batshit deserves that level of pain, then that kind of physical suffering sounds excruciating.) I have chronic illnesses too, and it’s hard to describe what life feels like with illness. I like how you wrote about this topic with such grace and clarity. Excellent point about the nature of trauma and the creative process. How to write about it in a way that’s not exploitive, and how keep it safe at the same time? I love the way your stories include both a sense of darkness in real life as well as a super sharp sense of humor and lightness. That’s the best kind of writing in my book.
Thank you for sharing, it's so nice to know others can relate. Sometimes my illnesses can be triggered by stress so it's definitely a survival instinct to try and control my stress level as much as possible. I remember I went to a psychiatrist once and said something like "I don't know what to do, reading the news gives me so much anxiety, it's totally disrupting my life!" And she said "well, stop reading the news!" She didn't add "duh" but it was implied. Sometimes Substack feels like the only "safe" place on the internet. Sorry to hear you have chronic stuff too, it can feel lonely and stigmatizing. Thanks so much, Jessica!
I don’t know why I’m sharing this bc it feels weirdly… I don’t know, romantic, but I just had this phrase pop into my head: “you’re a little treat.” You know when people say—“I deserve a little treat?” Well I think I do! And I think it was this piece!
Thanks Isabel, I'll take it. My kid is constantly describing things as romantic or not very romantic. "I know this isn't very romantic, Mama, but I just farted!"
But that is the MOST romantic! 😂