Very fluid and fluent writing. Easy to read. I think old school novels have been constrained by given frameworks. Now, we are able to write without constraints. Just describing things as they are and letting the reader interpret what they want.
I agree with all of the other comments. I also like how you end the chapter, walking down toward the track. It really draws me in and makes me want to read the next chapter.
I like how your chapters can be read as solo stories.
Your writing has excellent fluidity to it and an X factor I can’t name yet… something like rhythm, or cadence, or pacing, but none of those are the right words.
”The track rose and fell and looped around, crisscrossed with lines where the bikes had made welts in the dried mud. It was empty now, a little forlorn—the off season, I guessed. I threw a stick for Wogart—he leapt and twisted in the air, a fluid motion, and caught it on the rebound.” Something excellent in the balance of the sentences.
I've just realized who these sentences remind me of. The genre is completely different, and so is the subject matter, so I didn't make the link at first. But something about the writing at the sentence level reminds me of Mary Stewart. She did highly literate adventure novels in the 50s and 60s, and wrote beautifully. I've always thought her one of the best when it comes to the balance of a sentence in English.
Interesting, and thanks. I looked her up. I sometimes think the writing is more fluid or lyrical or maybe the word is balanced—if I’m listening to music while I write.
I hope you liked the language when you saw it. I haven’t actually read her in years — too many books in storage — but I always thought that her skills as a stylist were buried in the fact that she did popular novels.
Yes, sometimes I think in terms of musicality or fluidity also, but almost always the core word is balance — a sense of motion that can be small or broad but is never flailing, maybe. A sentence that knows where its core is, and how to come home, even as the readers are just along for the ride,
I just love this. I feel transported to right where you are every time, and I can’t wait to see what happens next.
Thanks Ally!
Your face is flushed and then just a bit later
"He was quiet a moment, looking at me. I didn’t mind."
Great restraint to let the reader fill in the heat for themselves.
I'm thinking of Linda Ronstadt singing "Just One Look"
Beautiful, Anna! I loved the imagery of your parents' rusting and derelict car, and how you were ashamed of it, yet missed it when it was gone.
Thanks Silvio... I still miss it.
I'm hoping for a wild affair with Pablo...
I was hoping Pablo would make a second appearance!
Very fluid and fluent writing. Easy to read. I think old school novels have been constrained by given frameworks. Now, we are able to write without constraints. Just describing things as they are and letting the reader interpret what they want.
Wonderfully written!
Thank you!
so clear and full of life, I can see everything you write. It's beautiful.
Thanks Will!
I agree with all of the other comments. I also like how you end the chapter, walking down toward the track. It really draws me in and makes me want to read the next chapter.
Thanks Teri
I like how your chapters can be read as solo stories.
Your writing has excellent fluidity to it and an X factor I can’t name yet… something like rhythm, or cadence, or pacing, but none of those are the right words.
Thank you! I think I know what you mean... I like language best when it has a kind of musicality to it
Did you write a diary during your travels? So vivid!
No, but my partner did... I should ask him for those... Thanks, Francesca!
Excellent read!
”The track rose and fell and looped around, crisscrossed with lines where the bikes had made welts in the dried mud. It was empty now, a little forlorn—the off season, I guessed. I threw a stick for Wogart—he leapt and twisted in the air, a fluid motion, and caught it on the rebound.” Something excellent in the balance of the sentences.
I've just realized who these sentences remind me of. The genre is completely different, and so is the subject matter, so I didn't make the link at first. But something about the writing at the sentence level reminds me of Mary Stewart. She did highly literate adventure novels in the 50s and 60s, and wrote beautifully. I've always thought her one of the best when it comes to the balance of a sentence in English.
Interesting, and thanks. I looked her up. I sometimes think the writing is more fluid or lyrical or maybe the word is balanced—if I’m listening to music while I write.
I hope you liked the language when you saw it. I haven’t actually read her in years — too many books in storage — but I always thought that her skills as a stylist were buried in the fact that she did popular novels.
Yes, sometimes I think in terms of musicality or fluidity also, but almost always the core word is balance — a sense of motion that can be small or broad but is never flailing, maybe. A sentence that knows where its core is, and how to come home, even as the readers are just along for the ride,
Whatever it is, it is a delight to encounter it!
*lyrical also captures some of it