Growth Potential

a dedicated member of the company

My son, age 7, is in search of autonomy. He has decided that he wants more responsibility: in life, at home, in general. I asked him if he would like to start by doing some work around the house, and he said “sure”.

First, he washed the dishes. They turned out great, very clean, none broken—and after that he dusted the bookshelves, and it was like, first there was dust, and after? None! I couldn’t believe it but it’s true and after that he fed the cat and the cat ate the food! At that point it became clear to me that I was dealing with a kind of savant, a genius, and, very likely, our future president.

He’s obviously ready for a real job.

I asked him if he would like to have a real job and he said “sure”.

I don’t know what kind of jobs are available right now but I do know that he is ready to enter the workforce. Approximately ninety-seven percent of the time he is out of control, laughing hysterically, or wantonly destroying things just because while being steadfastly and completely beyond reason as well as wholly incapable of rational thought, but the rest of the time he is helpful, reliable, self-motivated, and would make a fine addition to your team. His resume shows that he has leadership skills, organizational skills, interpersonal skills, *communication skills, skill sets, background checks, basic math, relevant experience, and excellent customer service. He is detail oriented, demonstrates efficiency, uses wireless technology, takes appropriate safety measures, ensures data compliance, engages in problem solving, is a solutions architect, works in-partnership-with, promotes technological advancement, understands analytical thinking, navigates conflict, follows protocol, provides prompt evaluation, shows emergency preparedness, undertakes management roles, is committed to the organization, has recommendations, and is qualified for the position at a competitive salary with an opportunity for growth potential.

*Reports to HR of “too many butt jokes” and “complaining about the snacks” have not been substantiated at this time.

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